Hurricane Ridge

“Drove all the way up and couldn’t see a single thing. Too overcast. Huge disappointment!
The visitor’s center is nice, though. There’s a movie, interactive displays, restaurant, etc.”

-Jess P.

By Nwcamera1 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons

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Garden of the Gods

“This is literally nothing but a pile of rocks. Unlike the beach, which is a different experience every time you attend and contains a countless amount of adventures to be had, these pebbles don’t change. They don’t change during the seasons, they don’t change during weather conditions, yet on every repeat visit it always manages to feel like that feeling of disappointment that there’s less to experience this trip than the one before, despite having nothing noteworthy on the original trip to begin with […]

Even the offensively pompous title of this place sucks! If this place is truly a land of  “Gods”, then a walk-through of this area will convert you to atheism faster than reading a book by Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens.

Yeah, it’s “free”, but so is drinking your own urine, doesn’t mean its worth doing.”

-Justin S.

By David Shankbone (Own work) [GFDL or CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Yellowstone National Park

“Let me begin by saying that my girlfriend and I expected this park to be one of the highlights–nay, the crowning jewel–in our 10-day road trip to the western states.  We were horribly, terribly, tragically disappointed […] The sites to explore were very far apart as this is a large park, and frankly the drive was an ugly one.  Rampant forest fires have scarred the pine-filled landscape, leaving patchy areas of growth punctuated by desolation.  The wildlife we’d heard so much about was nowhere to be seen.”

-James B., Yelp

By Greg Willis from Denver, CO, usa (Lamar Valley at SunriseUploaded by russavia) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Sea Lion Caves

“[…] There are a lot of bugs in the caves, and they kind of smell like sea lion poop. Most of the sea lions were outside today, while only 6 sea lions were in the cave itself. Given the entrance price of $14.00, that works out to $2.33 per sea lion. The lions are big and fun and sleepy; maybe I was meant to be a sea lion in another life.

We went outside to find the rest of the sea lions, which meant we had yet another long hike ahead of us. Ugh. We finally got to the viewpoint and saw close to 100 sea lions sunning themselves down on the rocks. The problem is, they’re over 200 feet away from the viewpoint. There were a few seals down there, too. The seals were the only animals actually moving around, while the sea lions were pretty comatose. From a distance, they look like big armless bears. […]

-Jared K., Yelp

By Art Bromage from Seattle (Sea Lion Cave) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Joshua Tree National Park

“Ugly and the hiking sucks.  […] Definitely will never be back.  I’m just shocked that this place gets the high reviews, I guess everyone is smoking too much dope.”

-David W., Yelp

“When I went camping at Joshua Tree, it was in the winter time and it was very,  very cold.  I still remember the howling winds blowing against our tents and how i wished we were sleeping inside the cars.”

-Evelyn K., Yelp

By Bernard Gagnon (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons

Moonlight State Beach

“[…]what is up with all the BIG ASS piles of seaweed all over the beach?? and to make it worse, the BILLIONS of little flies buzzing all around the seaweed are SO ANNOYING!!!! ugh!!!
Why can’t the city have couple of trucks drive up and down the beach every morning dragging a big rake and scrape all that crap up?”

-Stephanie P., Yelp

By Bovlb (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Papakolea Green Sand Beach

“Please do not waste your time attempting to reach this beach by foot. The view is not worth the hours it would take and the beach is hardly green. A better description of the sand would be black with [brown][…]If you have a sadistic personality disorder and are looking forward to 3 hours of black and dry lava fields then pack plenty of water, sun screen and a gun to blow your brains.”

-Jose O., Yelp

By Phil Hollman from London, UK (Green sand beach) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

“What a shock. What a disappointment. I didn’t see much. I barely saw smoke. I didn’t see any lava black or red. Even with the telescope, I didn’t see lava and the amount of smoke coming out of the volcano was like the amount you’ll see when someone blows out a birthday candle. It was like viewing an empty field  that is ready for construction at a construction site”

David L., Yelp

“Ugh. The only thing more boring than a museum is a national park.  At least in a museum you’re indoors, protected from the elements, and usually there’s at least a cafe that serves booze. I drove two hours, spent $220 on a rental car and $10 admission fee for this?!  Some measly steam vents and a large charred piece of earth?  Where’s the spewing lava?  Where’s the toxic gas?  Where’s the pyroclastic flows?  On the other hand, what else is there to do in Hawaii other than to pretend to enjoy the natural surroundings?”

Paul M., Yelp

By National Park Service Digital Image Archives [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

The Great Salt Lake

“I’m only giving this 2 stars because of the historical value of it[…]I would avoid this place like the plague. Why??

* It smells like the worst thing ever.
* There are gnats EVERYWHERE. And then you get really close to the water, you’ll see that the sand gets darker. And you’ll notice it’s because of the millions and millions of gnats all over the sand. It seriously looks like the ground is moving.
* When we went a couple days ago, there were a ton of dead birds all over the “beach” area. Like hundreds of dead birds. And it wasn’t like they were decomposing, they were mostly feathers and bones. But it was totally gross and super creepy.”

-Eric L., Yelp

Photo by Lucas Eaton, 2007.

Photo by Lucas Eaton, 2007.

Punalu’u Black Sand Beach

“It’s got coconut trees, bathrooms, benches, a life guard, and above all turtles just hanging out on the beach. The sand though, this is why it got such a low score.The sand is very coarse.  I’m used to very fine black sand beaches.  This isn’t it.  My feet were pretty raw afterwards.  I had to wear my slippers after a while.”

-Mitch N. Yelp

By Poco a poco (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons