Papakolea Green Sand Beach

“Please do not waste your time attempting to reach this beach by foot. The view is not worth the hours it would take and the beach is hardly green. A better description of the sand would be black with [brown][…]If you have a sadistic personality disorder and are looking forward to 3 hours of black and dry lava fields then pack plenty of water, sun screen and a gun to blow your brains.”

-Jose O., Yelp

By Phil Hollman from London, UK (Green sand beach) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

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Petrified Forest National Park

“Its just dry land with a few blocks of rock/wood laying around. Will not go here again ever, as long as I live, as ever as ever, never. Never, never, never!”

-F. N., Yelp

I, Jonathan Zander [GFDL, CC-BY-SA-3.0 or CC-BY-SA-2.5], via Wikimedia Commons

Crater Lake National Park

“SNORE

I visited once with my dad when I was a kid, and having visited recently, it’s no wonder that it took 20 years for me to return[…] What are you going to do with a ticket to Crater Lake that’s good for seven days? That’s right, throw it away.”

-Erin H., Yelp

By WolfmanSF (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Acadia National Park

“The forest is so overgrown that I actually wish that people would bring in wood, with all the associated pests, from other areas.”

B.K., Yelp

By Plh1234us (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons

Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

“What a shock. What a disappointment. I didn’t see much. I barely saw smoke. I didn’t see any lava black or red. Even with the telescope, I didn’t see lava and the amount of smoke coming out of the volcano was like the amount you’ll see when someone blows out a birthday candle. It was like viewing an empty field  that is ready for construction at a construction site”

David L., Yelp

“Ugh. The only thing more boring than a museum is a national park.  At least in a museum you’re indoors, protected from the elements, and usually there’s at least a cafe that serves booze. I drove two hours, spent $220 on a rental car and $10 admission fee for this?!  Some measly steam vents and a large charred piece of earth?  Where’s the spewing lava?  Where’s the toxic gas?  Where’s the pyroclastic flows?  On the other hand, what else is there to do in Hawaii other than to pretend to enjoy the natural surroundings?”

Paul M., Yelp

By National Park Service Digital Image Archives [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

The Great Salt Lake

“I’m only giving this 2 stars because of the historical value of it[…]I would avoid this place like the plague. Why??

* It smells like the worst thing ever.
* There are gnats EVERYWHERE. And then you get really close to the water, you’ll see that the sand gets darker. And you’ll notice it’s because of the millions and millions of gnats all over the sand. It seriously looks like the ground is moving.
* When we went a couple days ago, there were a ton of dead birds all over the “beach” area. Like hundreds of dead birds. And it wasn’t like they were decomposing, they were mostly feathers and bones. But it was totally gross and super creepy.”

-Eric L., Yelp

Photo by Lucas Eaton, 2007.

Punalu’u Black Sand Beach

“It’s got coconut trees, bathrooms, benches, a life guard, and above all turtles just hanging out on the beach. The sand though, this is why it got such a low score.The sand is very coarse.  I’m used to very fine black sand beaches.  This isn’t it.  My feet were pretty raw afterwards.  I had to wear my slippers after a while.”

-Mitch N. Yelp

By Poco a poco (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons