Round up the Bison and Give This Desert Back To Wyoming!
“If Yellowstone wanted to maintain the Park beauty, they should go a mile above the Junction and make the boundary there. This is such a poor desert that the few animals do not make up for the drive. If there are wolves here, give them to Wyoming as well and maybe they can control them. This is definitely the worst of Yellowstone Park.”
-Larry P. via Tripadvisor
“Drove all the way up and couldn’t see a single thing. Too overcast. Huge disappointment!
The visitor’s center is nice, though. There’s a movie, interactive displays, restaurant, etc.”
-Jess P.
By Nwcamera1 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons
“[…] There are some really beautiful rock formations along the 13 mile loop, but most are brown/white and only about 5% are actually red rocks […] The day [we] went the winds were at 70 MPH, so we had a very difficult time getting out of the vehicle safely. If you’re planning to hike or take a lot of photos definitely check the wind speeds, as they make it virtually impossible to get out of the car.”
-Bridgette M.
By Superfish [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
“Once we finally got out, walked to the sand and rented an umbrella, we were sorely disappointed. The entire beach was all shallow and full of debris. Weird pieces of tree branches, TONS of seaweed and other crap just floating around. And the water was only like 6″ deep unless you wanted to swim out annoyingly far.”
-Jenna S.
By Digital photo taken by Marc Averette. [CC BY 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
“TOO muddy, slippery- can cause serious falling, easily get lost, if you’re not following someone who knows their way and at the end, the falls is mediocre! The mud is so extreme, you’re so focused on where to put your next step, that you start not enjoying the beautiful surrounding, as you are looking down the entire time, not to mention that you just wanna get to the damn falls, which in your mind at this point should be beautiful, sunny with crystal clear waters right? But, def not., it’s dark muddy water, with no sun, and you ask yourself “I hiked almost 2 hours, could’ve fallen and broken a bone on many occasions through all the rough and muddy trail for this” ? I’m such a sucker!!”[…]
-H A.
By Zhong54 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons
“This is literally nothing but a pile of rocks. Unlike the beach, which is a different experience every time you attend and contains a countless amount of adventures to be had, these pebbles don’t change. They don’t change during the seasons, they don’t change during weather conditions, yet on every repeat visit it always manages to feel like that feeling of disappointment that there’s less to experience this trip than the one before, despite having nothing noteworthy on the original trip to begin with […]
Even the offensively pompous title of this place sucks! If this place is truly a land of “Gods”, then a walk-through of this area will convert you to atheism faster than reading a book by Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens.
Yeah, it’s “free”, but so is drinking your own urine, doesn’t mean its worth doing.”
-Justin S.
By David Shankbone (Own work) [GFDL or CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
“Let me begin by saying that my girlfriend and I expected this park to be one of the highlights–nay, the crowning jewel–in our 10-day road trip to the western states. We were horribly, terribly, tragically disappointed […] The sites to explore were very far apart as this is a large park, and frankly the drive was an ugly one. Rampant forest fires have scarred the pine-filled landscape, leaving patchy areas of growth punctuated by desolation. The wildlife we’d heard so much about was nowhere to be seen.”
-James B., Yelp
By Greg Willis from Denver, CO, usa (Lamar Valley at SunriseUploaded by russavia) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons
“We were naive and drove up IN THE RAIN and got there 30 mins before sunrise and the sky got lighter and we saw lots of clouds but we didn’t see the sun nor any streaks of orange or pink.. Just grey 😦 […]
DO NOT COME HERE IF IT IS RAINING. U won’t see the sun!!!”
-Kathy S., Yelp
“It pains me to give a 2 star rating to any park. But this one, I feel, doesn’t live up to the high standard of natural majesty witnessed at most of the other parks.”
-Bill G., Yelp
“[…] There are a lot of bugs in the caves, and they kind of smell like sea lion poop. Most of the sea lions were outside today, while only 6 sea lions were in the cave itself. Given the entrance price of $14.00, that works out to $2.33 per sea lion. The lions are big and fun and sleepy; maybe I was meant to be a sea lion in another life.
We went outside to find the rest of the sea lions, which meant we had yet another long hike ahead of us. Ugh. We finally got to the viewpoint and saw close to 100 sea lions sunning themselves down on the rocks. The problem is, they’re over 200 feet away from the viewpoint. There were a few seals down there, too. The seals were the only animals actually moving around, while the sea lions were pretty comatose. From a distance, they look like big armless bears. […]
-Jared K., Yelp
By Art Bromage from Seattle (Sea Lion Cave) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons
“Ugly and the hiking sucks. […] Definitely will never be back. I’m just shocked that this place gets the high reviews, I guess everyone is smoking too much dope.”
-David W., Yelp
“When I went camping at Joshua Tree, it was in the winter time and it was very, very cold. I still remember the howling winds blowing against our tents and how i wished we were sleeping inside the cars.”
-Evelyn K., Yelp
By Bernard Gagnon (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons
“[…]what is up with all the BIG ASS piles of seaweed all over the beach?? and to make it worse, the BILLIONS of little flies buzzing all around the seaweed are SO ANNOYING!!!! ugh!!!
Why can’t the city have couple of trucks drive up and down the beach every morning dragging a big rake and scrape all that crap up?”
-Stephanie P., Yelp
By Bovlb (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
“I guess I wasn’t that enthralled with two hours of walking through a mildewy, dim, foul-smelling cavern and seeing recess after recess containing fungi-like formations of calcium deposits, or whatever.”
-Mark E., Yelp
By Eric Guinther, User:Marshman [GFDL or CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
“I have to say this is the ugliest place I have ever seen. Most deserts at least have some color to them, creating their own special beauty, not here, there is a bit of color near the entrance, and a tiny bit inside, otherwise… I paid $20 for nothing but nasty rock and salt”
-Tony G., Yelp
By Jon Sullivan [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
“Please do not waste your time attempting to reach this beach by foot. The view is not worth the hours it would take and the beach is hardly green. A better description of the sand would be black with [brown][…]If you have a sadistic personality disorder and are looking forward to 3 hours of black and dry lava fields then pack plenty of water, sun screen and a gun to blow your brains.”
-Jose O., Yelp
By Phil Hollman from London, UK (Green sand beach) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons
“Its just dry land with a few blocks of rock/wood laying around. Will not go here again ever, as long as I live, as ever as ever, never. Never, never, never!”
-F. N., Yelp
“SNORE
I visited once with my dad when I was a kid, and having visited recently, it’s no wonder that it took 20 years for me to return[…] What are you going to do with a ticket to Crater Lake that’s good for seven days? That’s right, throw it away.”
-Erin H., Yelp
By WolfmanSF (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
“The forest is so overgrown that I actually wish that people would bring in wood, with all the associated pests, from other areas.”
B.K., Yelp
By Plh1234us (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons
“What a shock. What a disappointment. I didn’t see much. I barely saw smoke. I didn’t see any lava black or red. Even with the telescope, I didn’t see lava and the amount of smoke coming out of the volcano was like the amount you’ll see when someone blows out a birthday candle. It was like viewing an empty field that is ready for construction at a construction site”
David L., Yelp
“Ugh. The only thing more boring than a museum is a national park. At least in a museum you’re indoors, protected from the elements, and usually there’s at least a cafe that serves booze. I drove two hours, spent $220 on a rental car and $10 admission fee for this?! Some measly steam vents and a large charred piece of earth? Where’s the spewing lava? Where’s the toxic gas? Where’s the pyroclastic flows? On the other hand, what else is there to do in Hawaii other than to pretend to enjoy the natural surroundings?”
Paul M., Yelp
By National Park Service Digital Image Archives [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
“I’m only giving this 2 stars because of the historical value of it[…]I would avoid this place like the plague. Why??
* It smells like the worst thing ever.
* There are gnats EVERYWHERE. And then you get really close to the water, you’ll see that the sand gets darker. And you’ll notice it’s because of the millions and millions of gnats all over the sand. It seriously looks like the ground is moving.
* When we went a couple days ago, there were a ton of dead birds all over the “beach” area. Like hundreds of dead birds. And it wasn’t like they were decomposing, they were mostly feathers and bones. But it was totally gross and super creepy.”
-Eric L., Yelp
Photo by Lucas Eaton, 2007.
Bad Internet Reviews of Nature 
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